Hammertime!

What are the Hammer's views on fast food? What are his feelings on fat chicks? Want to hear the Hammer's Michael Jackson impression? How about his Elvis or his John Wayne?

Of COURSE you want to hear these things! All Hammer All The Time in his very own Hammer-centric segment, sure to be a fan favorite for the ages!

HERE

Also, is the Hammer stealing jokes from himself? Check out this Lost Weakstream Moment from this February:

HERE

Podcast 12 - The Stevie Povich Show!

"We're Saving Marriages Everybody!"

On today's show, we have Ron and Trixie, a young married couple whose relationship has become strained. Surprises are in store, and be on the lookout for our head of security Hammer keeping the peace between the two feuding love birds.

HERE

Podcast 11 - Meet The Aristocrats

This one might not make a whole lot of sense to people who haven't seen THE MOVIE or who aren't professional stand-up comedians, so if you don't fall into either camp, read about it HERE.

In short, there's this joke called "The Aristocrats". It's not all that funny, unless you're seriously twisted (I find it hilarious); but it is incredibly dirty (in fact, the nastier, more disgusting, more perverse, the better).

Here we have three drunks giving it their best shot; we meant to do this months ago, but unfortunately couldn't all get together until last Friday night. Here's J.D., Troy, and yours truly giving it our best shots (full disclosure: I wrote mine out well ahead of time - going against the entire spirit of the joke, being improvisation and spontaneity - and read it practically verbatim because I was beyond hammered):

J.D.'s HERE

Troy's HERE

Mine HERE

Lost Podcasts: Insensitive Jokes

These may not be PC, but funny is funny. In celebrating J.D.'s birthday, we sat around, shot the shit, told some jokes, had a few laughs, and played a few instruments. Funny is funny and The Hammer was in rare form.

Part 1 HERE

Part 2 HERE

Part 3 HERE

Audible Expletive!

No one's ever going to confuse us with competent rappers like Vanilla Ice or Skee-Lo, but I'm not gonna lie to you, the first song isn't NEARLY as atrocious as I thought it was going to be.

"Nuclear Waste For Your Hazmat" - HERE

And, if you made it this far, there's one more to follow. Not gonna lie to you, the background music REALLY gets in the way of the lyrics, which I think are awesome. We are Audible Expletive; Uncle Salty and DJ Roar-T comin' atcha (my apologies for not remembering his actual alias). Don't think you've heard the last of us!

"You Can't Handle The Verity" - HERE

Podcast 10 - Jakeskel & Stevebert At The Movies

Where's Podcast 9 you ask? Well, if I told you that, surely all time and space would come to an end.

As it stands, we lost Podcast 9. This one, however, is quite the doozy. Jake and I give our review of the movie "Legion". The world will never be the same.

Oh, and this is the first podcast with my brand new $60 microphone. It is tits and a quarter; you can actually hear people talking from across the room!

HERE

Podcast 8 - NFL Summit

Matt W. Roarty and I discuss all things NFL, recorded live BEFORE the NFL season started for 2009. Don't blame the podcast for one man's laziness. With a Rondell Safety Zak for free ...

Download HERE

Part I

Finger Lickin' Good
Welcome To The NFL Summit
The 3rd Guy In The Porno Movie
The Purple Elephant In The Room
Krieg To Skansi
Brettsy Ross
An Example Of This Groan
Matt's 'Favorite Dog' Analogy ...
Interrupting Matt's 'Favorite Dog' Analogy ...
Brett Favre Tingling Minnesota's Balls
It's Ultimate Conclusion
3000 yards, 28 tds, 20 interceptions, 12 games
11 games, 2100 yards, 18 tds, 21 interceptions

Part II

Let's Talk About The Rest of the NFC North!
Throwing a fucking parade for the Seahawks Sea-Fence
11 of Me Out There
Trufant Is My Boy
No More than 8 games for Kurt Warner - Matt's got 15
Breaking News On Weak Stream!
Really Go Fish

Part III

Steve Largent Interlude
10 Receivers On Pace To Beat Jerry Rice
Do I Have To Explain Trent Edwards To You?
That Guy's Gonna Catch A Lot of Balls In Prison
An applesauce for the Bears

Part IV

Predictions:

NFC East - M: NYG; S: Phi
NFC South - S: NO; M: Atl
NFC North - M: GB; S: Min
Go Check Out Jered Allen's Twitter
NFC West - S: Sea; M: SF

AFC North - S: Bal; M: Pit
Roethlisberger Sweating & Grunting
AFC East - M: NE; S: Bills!
AFC West - S: SD; M: SD
AFC South - M: Jax; S:

Creating Dead Air!
We Built This Hitting On Rob Johnson!

AFC Champs - M: NE; S:

AFC South - S: Indy

AFC Champs - S: Bal

NFC Champs - M: GB; S:

The Homer In Me vs. The Realist In Me
Arizona Is A Month I Love
Cheeze Whiz vs. Goudda
Nick Reed!
Romo Lost The Best Set Of Tits In His Life

Part V

Matt W. Roarty Watches Survivor
I follow Tim Hasselbeck's career very closely
My Rambling Is My Argument
Starting A Dead Fucking Animal At Running Back
She's A Stupid Bitch Who Died

NFC Champs - S: Phi

Over/Under - Westbrook 12 games played S: Over; Matt: Under; Safety: Exactly 12

Wild & Crazy Bets:

Winner of the Super Bowl Coin Toss - M: Green Bay Packers; S:
Next Packer Into Hall of Fame - M: Reggie White;
Next Seahawk Into Hall of Fame - S: Shaun Alexander?

The Tez isn't in it yet?
The Packer fan thinking of Walter Jones!

Shaun Alexander In - S: yes; M: no

Tiki Barber is a Joke
Ahman Green can suck my dick
Last Words
SSSC - Promenade
One Last Thing ...