Sunday, October 9, 2011

Podcast 15 - Beer Tasting with D-man

Long story short, my good friend D-man doesn't like beer.  So, I did my best to try to find him a beer that he would actually like.  It ... went a little weird.  This podcast took FOREVER to finish.  And, I'm more than a little annoying in this one.



Background Music:  Daft Punk & other techno

HERE

I'm taking this seriously!
As manly of a drink as you can find
Heavy On The Fruit
Poor burnt-out crackhouse
Your mom's half a beer
Mom Joke Clause
Boston, MA Geo-bomb
Somebody puked in my computer!
PhD in Beer School
Little Technical Difficulties

... 30 Minutes Later ...

Minor disagreement with his beer
Planning to puke
Syrup!
Mrs. Beersworth
This smells like urine
Syrup can't help this urine
I'm allergic to pussies who don't like beer! ... I get mean when I'm drunk
How dare D-man not trust me!

... Puking Minutes Later ...

And we're back!
The Worst Beer Drinker Ever
Flip Mike's
No one wants to play Flip Puke
D-man is down!
D-man snorted Tums

... More Puking Later ...

All right, we're back
I drank a shitload of beer
This would be, like, a 5-hour podcast
Cheese Taste Test
Drunken Cheese Podcast
The Least Interesting Man In The World
I'm not hungee right now
You're a bottle of toilet water!
I'm a cheap-ass bitch

D-man's Tums Story

D-man's favorite beer of the night:  Dos Equis
Bud Lime is a fucking abomination!

Beer Grades

Guiness:
Steve:  A+
D-man:  ??

Black Butte Porter:
Steve:  A+
D-man:  Worse than Guiness

Ninkas Oatmeal Stout:
Steve:  A+
D-man:  Better than Black Butte Porter

Newcastle:
Steve:  A+
D-man:  2nd to Worst 3rd to Worst

Men's Room Red:
Steve:  A
D-man:  Better than Newcastle

Fat Tire New Belgium:
Steve:  A
D-man:  ??

Arrogant Bastard:
Steve:  A
D-man:  Absolutely Horrible Grade, 2nd to Worst

Stella:
Steve:  C
D-man:  Near the Bottom

Dos Equis:
Steve:  A
D-man:  Probably could finish

Labatt Blue:
Steve:  B
D-man:  2nd Favoritest

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Podcast 14 - Tradin' War Stories (Taylor Edition)

We're back! Back-to-back! And back-dated! How about that!

Again, these were cut off arbitrarily, so you're better off downloading all four parts and listening to them all in a row this is just one file. This one's only a little over a half hour, so it's not so oppressive.

Also, hey now, Hammer's back! Now I've got you hooked! The last 17 minutes are GOLD!

Background Music: Orbital

Click HERE

Huskies vs. Eastern Washington Analysis
Buncha Pieces Of Shit
Hammer Here!
Visiting, as families do.
Good Drunk Stories
We're like NO
A Hangover Story
Unce-unce. Unce-unce.
I have a nephew in France! He died of throat cancer!
Thanks Brian ... BITCH!
Not about tonight, and drunk.
Pours the beer down the back of a small child.
Boston is just a big piece of shit fuckin' city.
It's not the most flattering story in the world.
((Wait, I've heard this story before!!!))
Lift up the cushion like a toilet seat ...
Donnie Darko - Schnapps & Chocolate Syrup
I've never had a more delicious drink since!!!
I had to enjoy that when I woke up.
What's the opposite of wedding? Bachelor party!
Huuu, BOOM, Huuu, BOOM.
Sips, mom. A lot of sips.
Little Rodney Got Off Again!
How Our Camping Trip Was A Fucking Bitch-Ass
I might get myself a canoe.
Butler service
Hammer calls the shots
Mean-muggin' ass
Explaining Riffe Lake Campground
We go there and it fuckin' sucked. The end.
He was a fuckin' bitch.
I really don't care about politics.
When the left track starts ...
Goodbye Everyone!
Unce unce unce unce unce unce unce unce

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Podcast 13 - Timebomb & Ice Pick Tell Totally Untrue Stories

It's been too long!!! Too God danged long. I promise I won't let a year go by again before my next post.

I'm not gonna lie to you, I had to split this one up into eight parts (each about eight minutes long) I figured out a way to put the whole thing up as one file. It's a little over an hour, so settle in. If you feel like skipping around, I highly recommend Part III the 16th through the 24th minutes. But, honestly, how could you NOT find two drunk fucks entertaining?

Also, FYI, it will probably be a more enjoyable listening experience if you just download all 8 parts and put them on your iTunes (or whatever music-listening device you have on your computer). I pretty much just cut them off at exactly eight minutes each, so we're cutting mid-word in some instances. I promise you I'm going to find a better way to do this eventually I figured out how to upload large files, so there you go.

Background Music: STS9

Click HERE

Minutes 0-8:

July something, 2011
Can you pornography everywhere?
I have a torture chamber in my basement
All right, Peter
What is your favorite movie of all time?
Best nudie scene in a movie ...
Masturbation central right there.

Minutes 8-16:

Brainwarped by the whathaveyou
Bees knees for me's
Pointless, gratuitous full-frontal nudity
The worst use of nudity for you in a movie ever.
The old creepy dead lady in a bathtub ... you could never jack off to that, ever!
Most movies I watch don't have old male nudity
Fuck God-damned Michael Bay!
Look, I have a robot as a friend.

Minutes 16-24:

We gotta get off robots.
Who would you rather have sex with: a 75 year old man or a dead supermodel who's been dead for 10 days?
You're completely sober and aware ...
Everyone you know is going to know what room you chose and who you chose to fuck.
If you can't come in a God-damn half hour, I don't know what's wrong with you.
Is it wrong that I'm contemplating the dead woman?
She'd be slightly more mushy ...
What if he's not expecting it ...
There's going to be shit somewhere.
I think you're gonna get a dick full of shit; well, I think you're gonna get a dick full of rotting corpse.
Break 3 fingers of your right hand, OR, your left forearm.
Both bones??? Jesus, you fuckin' psychopath!

Minutes 24-32:

I'd rather fuck the old man!
You're giving me a reason to go to the old man!
95 was 95.
You know what sucks? Apples.
A short apple story!
We're not talking about apples anymore.
What's your favorite vegetable?
A cucumber that turns into a pickle.
What's the worst color for a nipple, light or dark?
Can't stand the dark nipple, grosses me out.
A half-inch nipple or a half-inch clitoris.
When you were 12 years old, who was your hot chick?

Minutes 32-40:

What was the first alcoholic drink you had?
I stole a couple of Bud Lights
It's just breathing.
A bad egg or whatever.
They thought I had a massive problem ... Yeah, I don't really have a problem.
I feel pretty good, because I'm smokin' pot.
I pass out on the floor ...
Oh, let's fuck with Steve!
Blames me for having all the furniture in my room.

Minutes 40-48:

It makes me want to drink more to forget about it.
I pissed my pants! Nice, I've done that before.
I think my toilet's leaking, because I woke up and my pants are all wet.
It's best just to sleep on the floor.
Holy shit, I've only got one little window here!
It stank like shit and cologne, man!
It was really old crappy couch.
It fell through my pants!
I left a banana of shit there.
Some of the most forgiving people I've ever met in my life.

Minutes 48-56:

You gotta make it a point: take a shit before you go to bed, man.
((Actually, Brooklyn & 43rd, but I was close.))
You just used that as a toilet, didn't you?
He SAYS he thought he was dreaming; I don't believe him for a God damn second.
When you sit down, YOU should make sure the seat's down.
I feel that my friends are a bad influence on me.
I didn't shit myself or piss myself when I was living in New York!
It's not like they had a nice-ass couch!
The best night I've ever had.

Minutes 56-End:

A fruit/liquor combo
My fuckin' roommates totally forgot to pick me up.
Party bus will come & pick up underage drunks at parties.
I get nauseous when I try to drink.
That's like bona fide Nazi shit!
That's what happens when you bad things, children! You need to watch your manners!
I'm Christopher Walken ...
((The first half hour was actually pretty good, if I do say so myself))